Parenting Your Troubled Teen

What parents of a teen haven’t wondered where their sweet child went and who the angry and rebellious child is that took his or her place. After all, adolescence is a time of change. While each child is different, there are some behaviors that all normal teens seem to exhibit. These include: acting moody and/or rude, complaining about parental interference, experimenting with sex and/or drugs, searching for a sense of identity, showing less affection to parents and/or siblings.

Unfortunately, some teens are more troubled than others and may spiral out of control. These teens are at higher risk of developing serious problems such as substance abuse and addiction, eating disorders, failure in school, legal problems, pregnancy, and in the worst-case scenario, attempted suicide. The difficulty for parents lies in trying to interrupt their teen’s downward spiral and replace it with positive steps to help him or her regain a healthy way of life.

Often the hardest part for parents is to admit that they can’t do it alone and that their teen needs professional help. Once they can do that, parents will find that there is help available for troubled teens. Some of the options available to parents include boarding schools, boot camps, military style schools, and even residential treatment centers. Deciding which type of program or facility is best suited to help your teen with his or her issues can be a daunting task. Each program or facility will have a different philosophy toward treatment and techniques to achieve results. Parents must do a little research, and whenever possible, take the time to visit facilities and meet the staff to ensure that it’s a good fit for their troubled teen.

The most effective programs or facilities offer a number of key components to help troubled teens deal with their issues. These components include academics to enable teens to earn high school credit while they attend the program, as well as recreation, exercise and social opportunities. Other components may include reinforcement of appropriate behavior, family involvement that helps families understand and rebuild problems, as well as personal and emotional development.

Not all parents subscribe to the notion of “tough love,” which is used so extensively in many troubled teen programs. Some parents want their children close by and want to avoid placing their troubled teen into an environment that may build even more resentment and anger. For these parents and troubled teens, behavior modification programs are a good starting point. In behavior modification programs, appropriate behavior is reinforced and rewarded and inappropriate behavior is confronted and redirected, with consequences given.

This may be as simple as drawing up a contract with a teen that outlines the rules for the household and identifies the consequences ahead of time if the rules are broken. The rules and consequences must be fair and consistently administered by both parents. A contract is a viable option for teens who are just beginning to misbehave due to a lack of structure in the home for routines, chores and expected behaviors.

For troubled teens who need assistance over and above what their parents can give, outpatient therapy programs may be a viable option, especially for teens who are already committed to recovery. These programs offer a variety of treatment options, including individual and/or group counseling, family counseling, or substance abuse programs. Although outpatient programs can be very beneficial, they are usually relatively short-term, and are not designed for teens with severe emotional or psychiatric problems.

Another option is to enroll a troubled teen in a day treatment program. This type of program is designed for teens who were unsuccessful in an outpatient setting. These teens often struggle with emotional and psychological issues, and are an option for troubled teens who need intensive therapeutic support but who do not yet require a residential environment.

Alcohol Abuse in troubled teens is increasing. Alcohol gives teenagers the power to express themselves without inhibitions. It allows them to self-medicate to numb the pain of a turbulent world around them. Alcohol use in teenagers can get out of control and lead to death.

Reasons for Abuse and Troubled Teens

The main reason why troubled teens turn to alcohol is to lower inhibitions, especially for these teens. It allows teenagers to engage in deviant behavior without feeling guilt or fear that they will get caught. Drinking alcohol gives teens the perception that they are “cool” and can fit into peer groups easily. It allows the teenager to be more outgoing and do things that they normally would not do.

Alcohol abuse and troubled teens can also be found in situations where the teenager lives in a turbulent home life. Parents who use drug or alcohol themselves create a difficult world for their teenager. To help forget the pain of having unsupportive parents, the teenager drinks alcohol to self-medicate.

Teens who are suffering with a behavioral disorder such as ADD and ADHD are prone to abusing alcohol as well. These teens have difficulty concentrating in school which leads to their grades slipping. They receive pressure from teachers and their parent which causes them to feel misunderstood. These teenagers turn to alcohol to help forget the problems they have with teachers and parents.

Teenagers are becoming much savvier in the way that they procure alcohol. Teenagers seek out friends who are old enough to purchase the alcohol. Some alcohol abusing teens will steal it from liquor or grocery stores. Many will steal right from friend’s houses or from their own parents.

Treatment for Troubled Teenagers

Treatment through a counselor is the best avenue to take with this issue. Troubled teens need help with the problems that are driving them to alcohol. Solving the reasons why alcohol abuse and troubled teen behavior occurs can help these teenagers stay away from alcohol.

Adolescence is a chaotic time at best. It’s like you go to sleep a child and wake up something else, not quite an adult. Not only are hormonal fluctuations causing your body to change dramatically pretty much overnight, but your place in society is kind of in limbo as well. It’s enough to make even the most well adjusted person question his place in the world. Even though it is a phase in life that every living thing must go through, it’s not at all a smooth transition. Some graduate into adulthood relatively unscathed, but for some it’s the start of a long, tough road that spirals down to a life-long path of despair and destruction.

Of course there’s a certain amount of teenage angst that, though sure to being some upheaval to your home, is perfectly healthy. It’s important to know what to expect so you, as a parent, can detect anything that might be a sign of trouble. Adolescence is when kids start to pull away from their parents emotionally so they can prepare to separate from the family unit and form their identity as an individual. So don’t be overly concerned when your teen starts spending more and more time in her room or out with friends. At times it might even seem like she’s trying to drive you away. Try not to take it too personally. This process may be painful for all involved, but it’s absolutely necessary for your child to grow into a happy, stable adult.

Drama is just a standard part of the teenage years. Surging hormones are making their emotions go crazy. That’s why everything is such a big deal. Be considerate of your kid’s feelings, and know that she is not just being a drama queen. Try not to add to the problem by making her feel like you’re not taking her problem seriously. Yes, she will most likely look back one day and realize how silly she is being, but telling her that right now is only going to make her thing you don’t care about what’s going on with her.

Teenagers tend to gravitate away from the family unit and cling to their group of friends. This is their way of testing how they will interact with society at large. You will probably have concerns about these creatures your child is trying to spend her ever waking hour with. Keep in mind that all these other kids are in the middle of the same turmoil yours is going through. You can visit http://www.troubled-teens-help.com for more information on dealing with troubled teens.

Be patient, and try not to judge her friends by their appearance. Under all those chains, piercings and bright blue Mohawks might be some completely decent kids. They’re just trying to find themselves. What you need to pay close attention to is how these kids behave. Keep an eye out for signs of drug use. Younger kids are probably not going to have the experience or contacts to access a variety of drugs, so you’re probably not going to see needle tracks. Look for more subtle signs like erratic behavior, bloodshot eyes, missing money or other valuables when they leave, paranoia or excessive nervousness. Also be on the lookout for any wounds that might be self-inflicted. Trust your gut. This is when you have to jump in and take action. There are a variety of treatment options, from talk therapy to inpatient hospitals. Keep in touch with what your children are up to so you can catch the warning signs.

Parenting in general – while enormously rewarding and joy filled – can also be an exhaustive, confusing experience. No child arrives with an operational manual and many of us just find our way day to day doing the best we can.

Each age group offers its own set of challenges. But none is more talked about or struggled with than the teenaged years. Raising a typical teenager can be stressful enough as you battle for control with a young adult eager to assert his/her independence. But parenting troubled teens offers its own unique experience. Parenting troubled teens can exacerbate an already stressful time and put an enormous strain on a family unit.

Luckily there are many avenues available to those parenting troubled teens. While the experience can often feel isolating, there does exist a large, populated community of parents struggling with the same challenges. Whether your teen is struggling with emotional or physical challenges, depression, eating disorders, drug and alcohol abuse, or any one of the countless issues facing teenagers today, parents can take comfort in the expansive resources available to them.

To test the waters, those parenting troubled teens can easily turn to the safety of their own home computer. The Internet offers a variety of resources that those parenting troubled teens can access. Many sites – in addition to offering general information and even listings of local resources – will guide you to online chat forums where those who are parenting troubled teens can share their stories. There may be nothing more reassuring during this stressful time than simply meeting someone who understands.

Additional resources for those parenting troubled teens include psychologists, psychiatrists, and licensed therapists who have experience with such issues. Whether its counseling for the teen himself or guidance for parents, professional assistance can go a long way in your journey.

Support groups – much like online chat forums – offer those who are parenting troubled teens an opportunity to share their frustrations, fears, and struggles. Ultimately you may find that you are one day sharing your accomplishments as you face and conquer the challenges of parenting troubled teens.

Parenting troubled teens can be a harrowing experience. The pressure on couples and families can be enormous. But if you take advantage of every tool available to you – seeking out local and Internet resources – you will soon find that you have a comprehensive and powerful weapon at your disposable to help you in your journey.